Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
