Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
