do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
