All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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