I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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