The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
