He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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