she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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