I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
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I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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