Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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