i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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