I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize