i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
