my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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