return my video game
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
