I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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