2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sarcasm needs its own font
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
