She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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