this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
a search helicopter?!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
