You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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