Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
