I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You work out of a Hotel?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
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If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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