You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
