I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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