We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
