A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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