y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
