Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
