Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
