Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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