I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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