i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
