didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
