Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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