I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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