I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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