pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize