Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I want to have your abortion
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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