for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
