I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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