If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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