I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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