why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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