new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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