i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
honey bunches of taint.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
