At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
