Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well I just put wine in my tea
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
