btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
