The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
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Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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