This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
