Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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