I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
