if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
