Cold hands, warm shart.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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