DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
