we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
