Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
