we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
