I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
